February - Obama's EPA began laying the
groundwork to declare all human activity subject to Government
regulation, via the human capacity for CO2 production, which the
EPA designated a deadly gas despite the fact that plants need it
to survive. The right-wing began to make jokes about Obama's
Teleprompter dependency. It would be eight months before the
left would do the same.
March - The Green Left designated polar
bears the official iconic megafauna of the Global Warming Hoax,
using a picture of some bears on an ice floe to claim that the
big white beasts were facing extinction (when, in the real
world, their numbers are increasing.) Lady M'Chel put in an
appearance at soup kitchen and showed off her $540 kicks. Obama
also rewarded his friends in Hamas with $900 Million in taxpayer
dollars to thank them for their incessant rocket attacks against
Oh, and Keith Olbermann pitched a snit fit when Ann Coulter
revealed that his prized Cornell degree actually came from
Cornell's cow college affiliate.
April - It was discovered the Global Warmists were
lying about sea ice melting away. Obama sent Air Force 1 to buzz
lower Manhattan, just for kicks and giggles. Benedict Arlen
Specter made a principled decision to become a Democrat when
polls showed he was cheese toast if he ran as a Republican.
Also, the totally free market "don't you dare call them
socialists" government of B. Hussein Obama completed the
nationalization of General Motors, with the Government and their
union allies owning 80% of the company after telling investors
who had loaned the companies billions "Be gone, Running Dog
parasites! The means of production belong to the workers now."
In response to the predations of the Obamunists, a round of
tea-parties were held to correspond with April 15th tax day.
Distinguished journalists like Anderson Cooper and Rachel Maddow
giggled like fifth graders at the word "tea-bag."
May -- The Progressive Left focused its
rage and scorn on a person who represented the most serious
threat to the American way of life in all the 233 years of the
Republic's existence. I refer, of course, to Carrie Prejean; who
received the kind of treatment from the mainstream media Hitler
might have gotten had he been caught throwing puppies into a
June -- It was discovered that the EPA was
burying memos that said Global Warming wasn't actually
happening, per se. Also, 62 year old "comedian" David Letterman
took a break from molesting the interns in his Manhattan
production company to make some rape jokes about Sarah Palin's
daughters; because it's just so funny when 62 year old men make
lecherous jokes about young teenage girls.
President Barack Obama demonstrated his administration's
commitment to transparency and the rule of law by firing an
Inspector General who was investigating massive corruption on
the part of one of M'Chel's cronies.
The Iranian Regime responded to pro-democracy demonstrations
by brutally cracking down on protesters, murdering some in the
street, and rounding up others for summary execution. To show
his concern and support for democracy, President Obama went out
and bought ice cream for his dog.
July --- Patriots celebrated the 4th of
July with more tea parties to rouse a resistance against a
president and a congress hellbent on tearing down the Republic
the founding fathers fought so hard and sacrificed so much to
bring into being. A West Coast blogger found a book co-authored
by Obama's technology czar in which he advocated forced
sterilizations and coerced abortions as a means of population
control. Lefties defended him by saying, "It was the '70's." Not
a reassuring defense given their moonbat messiah president's
fondness for Jimmy Carter's policies. Meanwhile, crazy, lying,
FoxNews personality Glenn Beck put up some crazy story about how
Obama's (Ho!Ho!Ho!) Green Jobczar Van Jones was a radical
communist 911 troofer. Beck was denounced as lying, insane, and
dangerous. Within two weeks, Van Jones resigned in the middle of
the night because ... well, because Beck was right. Keith
Olbermann demanded that Beck be fired and threatened to engage
in deranged, vituperative rants on his show every night until
Also, a racist Harvard professor got into a dispute with a
white cop. PBO... who would later admonish Americans not to
"jump to conclusions" about a mass murdering jihadist at Fort
Hood and an attempting mass-murdering jihadist in Detroit...
immediately declared in a press conference that the cop had
"acted stupidly" while admitting he didn't know all the facts of
And, a peer-reviewed article in the Journal of Geophysical
Research confirmed that climate cycles are natural and Global
Warming is a hoax.
August -- Democrat Congresspersons heard
from their constituents on the Obama-Pelosi Health Care bill.
Since they didn't like what they heard, they announced that all
future contact with constituents would be limited to registered
members of the SEIU. The SEUI responded by beating up black
people and old ladies outside townhall meetings. One especially
zealous thug bit off a guy's finger. Lefties responded with,
"Under ObamaCare, people who have their fingers bitten off by
Union Thugs will have them sewed back on for free," leaving out
the word "eventually."
The infamous "Obama as Joker" poster appeared. Leftists went
into apoplectic fits at this heresy against the Messiah, and
pointed out that
no president in history had ever been defaced in such a
horrible, insulting, defamatory way.
The Government began a phenomenally successful program called
"Cash for Clunkers" in which perfectly serviceable automobiles
were destroyed and rendered inoperable in exchange for vehicles
with marginally better fuel economy at an estimated cost of
$24,000 per vehicle.
Senator Ted Kennedy died, leaving John Kerry and Barney Frank
to carry on the legacy of horrendously destructive far-left
Democrat legislators from Massachusetts.
September --- PBO cancelled the US Missile
Defense program for Eastern Europe, because he believed this
show of "Smart Diplomacy" would convince Iran not to pursue its
nuclear weapons program. In other news of smart diplomacy, Obama
warmly welcomed Mo Qaddafi, Hugo Chavez, and Mahmoud
Ahmadinejihad to the opening session of the UN. Not invited: The
legitimate, constitutional leader of Honduras. Obama also
declared the 9-11 should no longer be considered a day of
remembrance, but instead a day in which the workers should offer
the labors for the glory of the state.
During an address to Congress, Congressman Joe Wilson
responded to one of Obama's many, many lies by shouting "You
lie!" The left was again outraged, and pointed out that
no president had ever, ever been heckled while giving a speech
to Congress before.
California's farmers... driven to insolvency by a judge's
edict to preserve a two inch fish... appealed to their senators
to turn the water back on. The senators replied, "Sucks to be
you, losers" and "Don't call me, Ma'am!"
NY Times columnist David Brooks revealed that he first fell
in love with Obama while staring at the crease in his pants. A
deranged Keith Olberman claimed he had the largest audience in
cable news. If only Neilsen would count the voices in people's
heads, it might be true. Meanwhile, Glenn Beck... the man who
always lies ... played tapes of ACORN offering to facilitate tax
fraud, illegal immigration, and child prostitution. Democrats
immediately demanded an investigation... of the two journalists
who exposed ACORN's illegal activities.
Airstrip One officially recognized environmentalism as a
religion. As soon as they designate economics a superstition,
the transition to leftist belief will be complete.
October --- PBO was awarded the Nobel Peace
Prize. While admitting that he had accomplished nothing, the
Nobel Committee said he deserved the award for being so "clean
When word was leaked that Rush Limbaugh might become a 2%
owner in the St. Louis Rams, the progressive left MSM publicized
a number of racist quotations that... um... Limbaugh never
actually said. When confronted, the MSM responded, "Who are you
going to believe? Us, or a racist who wanted James Earl Ray to
receive the Congressional Medal of Honor."
And Glenn Beck... the man who always lies ... played a video
of Obama's Communications Director praising Chairman Mao and
licking her lips like Mr. Ed going for the peanut butter. A few
weeks later, she was gone. A deranged Keith Olbermann dropped
his pants and took a crap on his desk, but nobody saw it.
-- Republicans handily won the governorships in New Jersey and
Virginia, and lost in a three way congressional race in NY in
which no Republican was running. The left pointed to this as
proof that conservatism was dead, dead, dead! Also, Sarah Palin
sold about two million copies of her book, Going Rogue, which
drove the left absolutely insane. David Letterman was hailed as
a hero for not giving into a blackmailer who threatened to
reveal the fact that he had sexually harassed many female
interns. The interns were allowed to keep the Palin wigs after
Also, leaked emails from Climate Scienticians proved that
climate data were altered and deleted to artificially create
"proof" of human-caused Global Warming. Progressive Leftists
responded that the data that went into the Climate Change models
were every bit as valid as the data that showed job creation
under the Stimulus.
December -- An enormous contingent of
moonbats flew to Copehagen in a veritable air force of private
jets, generating as much CO2 in a week as an African country
emits in a year, to save the planet from the dire consequences
of wasteful CO2 production. And just to prove He has a sense of
humor, God dumped half a foot of snow on them.
Senate Democrats finally passed a version of ObamaCare using
last minute bribes to Senators Mary "Hello Sailor" Landrieu and
Ben "Love You Long Time" Nelson.
On Christmas Day, a jihadist came within seconds of
detonating a bomb on an aircraft with 278 people on board. The
Secretary of Homeland Security declared that the system had
worked perfectly, and the TSA would avoid future near-disasters
by making it illegal for passengers to leave their seats during
the last hour of a flight.
One year down, three to go... if we're lucky.